Golden Vanilla Bean Caramels

Notice that the title of this blog is not "Kat Makes Candy" or "Kandy Kat" or "Kat Kooks Kandy." There is a reason for that, other than the fact that those names are abhorrent. The reason is that making candy is hard. Even harder than baking. True, baking is an unforgiving science, but if you adhere to a good and proven recipe, you'll usually be okay. You may not have the prettiest cookie/cake/pie, but you'll be okay. Not so with candy making. If, for example, you do not temper your chocolate to the precise degree, you'll instantly drop dead. Don't ask me how I know this.

When I found out that November's Daring Baker's Challenge included an optional caramel candy recipe, I initially assumed I'd pass.We have enough junk laying around the apartment already, without adding my corpse to the detritus. But I am Chief Peanut Brittle and Fudge Officer at my parents' house during the holidays, so I thought it might be time to add to my skill set.

Even more so than with baking, the key to successful candy-making is precisely measuring out your ingredients and having them ready at hand when the time comes. I fumbled a bit with my vanilla at the end, and as a result my caramels were a bit tougher than I would've liked. You'll be relieved to know that I did not die, although I did suffer some first-degree burns to my fingers from "checking" the caramel too hastily. A small price to pay for broadening the ol' candy repertoire.

Golden Vanilla Bean Caramels

- Recipe from Pure Dessert by Alice Medrich -

Makes approx. eighty-one 1-inch caramels

• 1 cup golden syrup
• 2 cups sugar
• 3/8 teaspoon fine sea salt
• 2 cups heavy cream
• 1 1/2 teaspoons pure ground vanilla beans, purchased or ground in a coffee or spice grinders, or 1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into chunks, softened

EQUIPMENT: 9-inch square baking pan, candy thermometer

1. Line the bottom and sides of the baking pan with aluminum foil and grease the foil. Combine the golden syrup, sugar, and salt in a heavy 3-quart saucepan and cook over medium heat, stirring with a silicone spatula or wooden spoon, until the mixture begins to simmer around the edges. Wash the sugar and syrup from the sides of the pan with a pastry brush dipped in water. Cover and cook for about 3 minutes. (Meanwhile, rinse the spatula or spoon before using it again later.) Uncover the pan and wash down the sides once more. Attach the candy thermometer to the pan, without letting it touch the bottom of the pan, and cook, uncovered (without stirring) until the mixture reaches 305°F. Meanwhile, combine the cream and ground vanilla beans (not the extract) in a small saucepan and heat until tiny bubbles form around the edges of the pan. Turn off the heat and cover the pan to keep the cream hot.



2. When the sugar mixture reaches 305°F, turn off the heat and stir in the butter chunks. Gradually stir in the hot cream; it will bubble up and steam dramatically, so be careful. Turn the burner back on and adjust it so that the mixture boils energetically but not violently. Stir until any thickened syrup at the bottom of the pan is dissolved and the mixture is smooth. Continue to cook, stirring occasionally, to about 245°F. (Kat sez: resist the urge to turn up the heat if the temperature gets "stuck." It took at least 20 minutes for mine to get from 235°F to 245°F, but be patient. You'll get there) Then cook, stirring constantly, to 260°F for soft, chewy caramels or 265°F for firmer chewy caramels.

3. Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the vanilla extract, if using it. Pour the caramel into the lined pan. Let set for 4 to 5 hours, or overnight until firm.

4. Lift the pan liner from the pan and invert the sheet of caramel onto a sheet of parchment paper. Peel off the liner. Cut the caramels with an oiled knife. Wrap each caramel individually in wax paper or cellophane.(Kat sez: in my experience, caramels wrapped in wax paper stay soft longer than those wrapped in cellophane.)

November Daring Bakers' Challenge: Caramel Cake!

Holy cats. This month's Daring Bakers' Challenge certainly lived up to the "challenge" part of its moniker. But no complaints out of me; that's why I signed up for this group in the first place.

So, on with it: November's challenge brings us Shuna Fish Lydon's Caramel Cake with Caramelized Butter Frosting, as well as an optional non-baked treat, Golden Vanilla Bean Caramels from Alice Medrich's Pure Dessert (more on that tomorrow). Both were bold choices, and I thank hosts Dolores, Alex, and Jenny for introducing me to not one, but TWO recipes that I would probably never have had the stones to try otherwise.

The making of this cake played out much like a pivotal scene in one of my favorite movies, "An Officer and a Gentleman," where Lou Gossett Jr's tough-as-nails Sergeant Foley pushes Richard Gere's Zack Mayo to his emotional breaking point. In my version, the role of Mayo is played by yours truly, and the role of Sgt. Foley is played by caramel syrup.

"Why don't you just give up, Kat?"

"Because I got nowhere else to go!" [sobs]

No, really - I had a five pound bag of granulated sugar and a raging head cold. What else was I going to do with myself on a rainy Saturday afternoon? Like Zack "Mayonnaise" Mayo, I pushed through the obstacle and tried again, this time with much improved results. Moving on.

With the caramel syrup out of the way, the rest of the cake came together relatively easily. I didn't have the recommended round 9-inch pan, so I poured the batter into a square 9-inch pan and hoped for the best. It came out of the oven looking lovely and golden, but it hadn't risen as much as I'd hoped, and when I turned it out onto a platter it looked a little...inadequate. Like, this cake was never going to be a commissioned officer, if you know what I'm saying, and I think you do. To give it a little more dignity, I cut it in half and made a 9 by 4.5 inch layer cake. Then I fought back my tears and saluted it.

A little whiskey and cake never hurt anyone

A final word of warning: this cake is S to the W to the E-E-T, SWEET, so (and I don't say this often) I recommend serving very modest slices for maximum impact. They'll go back for seconds, I promise.

Caramel lifts us up where we belooo-oo-ooong...

Caramel Cake with Caramelized Butter Frosting

- All recipes courtesy of Shuna Fish Lydon -

• 10 tablespoons unsalted butter at room temperature
• 1 1/4 cups granulated sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/3 cup Caramel Syrup (see recipe below)
• 2 each eggs, at room temperature
• Splash vanilla extract
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 cup milk, at room temperature

1. Preheat oven to 350F.

2. Butter one tall (2 – 2.5 inch deep) 9-inch cake pan.

3. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, cream butter until smooth. Add sugar and salt and cream until light and fluffy. (Kat sez: I don't have a stand mixer, so I used my hand mixer on low/medium low)

4. Slowly pour room temperature caramel syrup into bowl. Scrape down bowl and increase speed. Add eggs/vanilla extract a little at a time, mixing well after each addition. Scrape down bowl again, beat mixture until light and uniform.

5. Sift flour and baking powder.

6. Turn mixer to lowest speed, and add one third of the dry ingredients. When incorporated, add half of the milk, a little at a time. Add another third of the dry ingredients, then the other half of the milk and finish with the dry ingredients. {This is called the dry, wet, dry, wet, dry method in cake making. It is often employed when there is a high proportion of liquid in the batter.}

7. Take off mixer and by hand, use a spatula to do a few last folds, making sure batter is uniform. Turn batter into prepared cake pan.

8. Place cake pan on cookie sheet or 1/2 sheet pan. Set first timer for 30 minutes, rotate pan and set timer for another 15-20 minutes. Your own oven will set the pace. Bake until sides pull away from the pan and skewer inserted in middle comes out clean. Cool cake completely before icing it.

Cake will keep for three days outside of the refrigerator.

Caramel Syrup

• 2 cups sugar
• 1/2 cup water
• 1 cup water (for "stopping" the caramelization process)

1. In a small stainless steel saucepan, with tall sides, mix water and sugar until mixture feels like wet sand. Brush down any stray sugar crystals with wet pastry brush. Turn on heat to highest flame. Cook until smoking slightly: dark amber. (Kat sez: for me, once the syrup started smoking it was already too late. the second time I attempted this, I took it off the heat at medium amber.)

2. When color is achieved, very carefully pour in one cup of water. Caramel will jump and sputter about! It is very dangerous, so have long sleeves on and be prepared to step back.

3. Whisk over medium heat until it has reduced slightly and feels sticky between two fingers. (Obviously wait for it to cool on a spoon before touching it.)

Note: For safety reasons, have ready a bowl of ice water to plunge your hands into if any caramel should land on your skin.

Caramelized Butter Frosting

• 12 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1 pound confectioner’s sugar, sifted
• 4-6 tablespoons heavy cream
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 2-4 tablespoons caramel syrup
• Kosher or sea salt to taste

1. Cook butter until brown. Pour through a fine meshed sieve into a heatproof bowl, set aside to cool.

2. Pour cooled brown butter into mixer bowl.

3. In a stand mixer fitted with a paddle or whisk attachment, add confectioner's sugar a little at a time. When mixture looks too chunky to take any more, add a bit of cream and or caramel syrup. Repeat until mixture looks smooth and all confectioner's sugar has been incorporated. Add salt to taste.

Note: Caramelized butter frosting will keep in fridge for up to a month. To smooth out from cold, microwave a bit, then mix with paddle attachment until smooth and light.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Copyright Time Inc, from the LIFE magazine photo archives on Google

I'm heading off to the mighty Midwest in a few short hours, but I just wanted to wish everyone a very happy Thanksgiving. Even if you're not American and/or observing the day, I hope you can at least enjoy this photo of a woman wearing a wedding dress made from turkey feathers holding a turkey carcass.

As a gift of thanks to our hosts (my parents), we're toting some sour cherries on the plane for Nick Malgieri's Once-A-Year Cherry Pie, which we like to enjoy all year long by hording summer cherries in our freezer.

Expect posts on pies, wholesome, middle-American fun and the next Daring Bakers' Challenge to come over the next several days.

Apple Muffins

The muffin of my eye

I promised you a recipe, and I shall deliver. Never doubt me, kittens.

I stumbled across this one when I was living beyond my means in a studio that was ramshackle in every way but happened to have a decently-sized kitchen. I cut the cable to save money, but the Time Warner tech took pity on me and left me with two channels: the Food Network and Spike. One morning I watched Ellie Krieger make these muffins, and a couple hours and a few episodes of "Man Versus Beast" later, the apple-cinnamon smell was wafting through my overpriced shoebox.

The recipe makes a dozen, but I like to freeze them and sling 'em in the toaster oven on chilly mornings.


Apple Muffins

- Adapted from Ellie Krieger's recipe on FoodNetwork.com-

Make a dozen muffins

• 3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons packed brown sugar
• 1/4 cup chopped walnuts
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 cup whole-wheat pastry flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 cup canola oil
• 2 large eggs
• 1 cup natural applesauce
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 3/4 cup lowfat buttermilk
• 1 Golden Delicious apple, peeled, cored and cut into 1/4-inch pieces
  
  

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Lightly grease a muffin pan or fill with liners.

2. In a small bowl, mix together 2 tablespoons of the brown sugar, the walnuts and cinnamon.

3. In a medium bowl, whisk together the all-purpose and whole-wheat flour, baking soda and salt.

4. In a large bowl, whisk the remaining 3/4 cup sugar and oil until combined. Add the eggs, 1 at a time, whisking well after each addition. Whisk in the applesauce and vanilla.

5. Whisk in the flour mixture in 2 batches, alternating with the buttermilk. Whisk just until combined. Gently stir in the apple chunks.

6. Pour the batter into the prepared muffin pan and sprinkle with the walnut mixture. Tap the pan on the counter a few times to remove any air bubbles. Bake for 20 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in center of 1 of the muffins comes out clean.

7. Let cool on a wire rack for 15 minutes. Run a knife around the muffins to loosen them and unmold. Cool completely on the rack.

Woe is the Sick Baker

A few weeks ago I complained that the mild weather was foiling my favorite autumn pastime of making and consuming warm, comforting baked goods. Well, I finally got my wish. It's just a few degrees above freezing now, but am I buzzing around the kitchen in a cloud of flour? No. I am lying on the couch mainlining tea and Emergen-C while watching "Jon and Kate Plus 8." Because I have a miserable cold, and multiple birth programing is the only thing that gets me through, apparently.

On Monday I stayed home from work, so after thirteen or so hours of sleep I summoned the energy for a batch of Kinda Healthy-ish Snacking Cookies, but after a week of inertia I'm jonesing for another challenge. So take heart, my Baking Kittens! I'll be slinging a spatula again in the very near future.

Big, buttery hugs,
Kat

The Donut Hole

The Donut Hole, originally uploaded by GarySe7en.

At least it's not glazed.

Yes We Cake!

From Smohundro's Flickr Photostream

I meant to say this yesterday, but I think I was still in shock: November 4th, 2008 at around 11pm EST will go down as one of the coolest/proudest/most patriotic moments of my entire life. I didn't think that my friend Jessie's chili could be improved upon, but washed down with the sweet taste of victory after eight years of bitterness and disgust? Yes, yes it can.

UPDATE: There is an entire Yes We Cake website full of President Cake-Elects! And it's run by Melissa of Cake Hero! Melissa made a Morrissey cake for our friend Tony's birthday a few months back, and it was amazing, although I didn't know whether I should eat the cake or throw it on my mom's carpet and write tear-stained poems in my room. But anyway, thanks for the tip, Nina and Dan!

Bare Necessities (Plus)

Does Anyone Have a Whisk?, originally uploaded by pattie74_99.

As I've mentioned before, the Dude and I are getting married this summer, which I've heard from other home cooks is the greatest thing that could ever happen to your kitchen. That got me thinking: when friends and family start asking what we'd like as gifts (even though they know perfectly well that the only thing I've ever wanted was a pony, *gah*), what should I say? We're pretty set on the basics - measuring spoons, mixing bowls, spatulas - but what slightly esoteric tool or piece of equipment can you not live without? Lemme know in comments pls thx.

Something Completely Different, End-of-October Edition

About once a month, I like to break with the theme of this blog and post something I'm just obsessed with. Last night I actually stayed up late enough for The Colbert Report, and it's a good thing I did, because Stephen was in rare form. Enjoy.

October Daring Bakers' Challenge: Pizza Tossing!

Pizza Napoletana

I am very excited to announce that I recently joined the Daring Bakers, an online community of baking enthusiasts who all bake the same thing, then blog about it on the same day at the end of the month. I look forward to getting to know all my fellow baker-bloggers, and to pushing my baking to the limit.

So! On to this month's challenge. October being National Pizza Month, hostess Rosa of Rosa's Yummy Yum's appropriately selected Peter Reinhart's Basic Pizza Dough from his acclaimed cookbook, The Bread Baker's Apprentice. It's a great choice, and a favorite of some of my online idols.

Now, I must admit that when I first learned of this challenge, I was a little disappointed. As y'all know, I make a lot of pizza, so I thought it would be too easy for me, thus negating the whole "challenge" part of the equation. However, this challenge was a bit more complicated than I anticipated. First of all, it requires a long, overnight rise, making it a significant departure from my usual throw-it-together, ready-in-90-minutes recipe. Secondly, the challenge required us to actually TOSS the dough. You know, like this guy:

Okay, maybe not exactly like that guy, but still: different = scary. Since I wasn't feeling confident about my crust, I decided to play it safe with the toppings. I made one classic Napoletana with tomato sauce, fresh mozzarella and slivered basil, and the old pizza parlor standby, pepperoni. Luckily, I had little to fear, because although this recipe may seem complicated at first, it's actually quite straightforward, and if you allow for the full rest and rise, you get a crust that's light on the inside, crispy on the outside, and gives Patsy Grimaldi a run for her money.

Basic Pizza Dough

- Original recipe taken from The Bread Baker's Apprentice by Peter Reinhart -

Makes 6 pizza crusts (about 9-12 inches/23-30 cm in diameter)

• 4 1/2 cups unbleached bread flour or all purpose flour, chilled
• 1 3/4 tsp. salt
• 1 tsp. instant yeast
• 1/4 cup olive oil or vegetable oil (both optional, but it’s better with)
• 1 3/4 cups water, ice cold
• 1 tb. sugar
• Semolina/durum flour or cornmeal for dusting

DAY ONE

1. Mix together the flour, salt and instant yeast in a big bowl (or in the bowl of your stand mixer).

2. Add the oil, sugar and cold water and mix well (with the help of a large wooden spoon or with the paddle attachment, on low speed) in order to form a sticky ball of dough. On a clean surface, knead for about 5-7 minutes, until the dough is smooth and the ingredients are homogeneously distributed. If it is too wet, add a little flour (not too much, though) and if it is too dry add 1 or 2 teaspoons extra water.

3. Flour a work surface or counter. Line a jelly pan with baking paper/parchment. Lightly oil the paper.

4. With the help of a metal or plastic dough scraper, cut the dough into 6 equal pieces (or larger if you want to make larger pizzas). NOTE: To avoid the dough from sticking to the scraper, dip the scraper into water between cuts.

5. Sprinkle some flour over the dough. Make sure your hands are dry and then flour them. Gently round each piece into a ball. NOTE: If the dough sticks to your hands, then dip your hands into the flour again.

6. Transfer the dough balls to the lined jelly pan and mist them generously with spray oil. Slip the pan into plastic bag or enclose in plastic food wrap.

7. Put the pan into the refrigerator and let the dough rest overnight or for up to thee days. NOTE: You can store the dough balls in a zippered freezer bag if you want to save some of the dough for any future baking. In that case, pour some oil (a few tablespoons only) in a medium bowl and dip each dough ball into the oil, so that it is completely covered in oil. Then put each ball into a separate bag. Store the bags in the freezer for no longer than 3 months. The day before you plan to make pizza, remember to transfer the dough balls from the freezer to the refrigerator.

Couldn't have done it without my favorite pink hoodie.

DAY TWO

8. On the day you plan to eat pizza, exactly 2 hours before you make it, remove the desired number of dough balls from the refrigerator. Dust the counter with flour and spray lightly with oil. Place the dough balls on a floured surface and sprinkle them with flour. Dust your hands with flour and delicately press the dough into disks about 1/2 inch thick and 5 inches in diameter. Sprinkle with flour and mist with oil. Loosely cover the dough rounds with plastic wrap and then allow to rest for 2 hours.

9. At least 45 minutes before making the pizza, place a baking stone on the lower third of the oven. Preheat the oven as hot as possible (500° F/260° C).
NOTE: If you do not have a baking stone, then use the back of a jelly pan. Do not preheat the pan.

10. Generously sprinkle the back of a jelly pan with semolina/durum flour or cornmeal. Flour your hands (palms, backs and knuckles). Take 1 piece of dough by lifting it with a pastry scraper. Lay the dough across your fists in a very delicate way and carefully stretch it by bouncing it in a circular motion on your hands, and by giving it a little stretch with each bounce. Once the dough has expanded outward, move to a full toss.

I miss my pizza stone.

NOTE: Make only one pizza at a time.During the tossing process, if the dough tends to stick to your hands, lay it down on the floured counter and re-flour your hands, then continue the tossing and shaping.

In case you would be having trouble tossing the dough or if the dough never wants to expand and always springs back, let it rest for approximately 5-20 minutes in order for the gluten to relax fully,then try again.You can also resort to using a rolling pin, although it isn’t as effective as the toss method.

11. When the dough has the shape you want (about 9-12 inches/23-30 cm in diameter - for a 6 ounces/180g piece of dough), place it on the back of the jelly pan, making sure there is enough semolina/durum flour or cornmeal to allow it to slide and not stick to the pan.

12. Lightly top it with sweet or savory toppings of your choice.
NOTE: Remember that the best pizzas are topped not too generously. No more than 3 or 4 toppings (including sauce and cheese) are sufficient.

13. Slide the garnished pizza onto the stone in the oven or bake directly on the jelly pan. Close the door and bake for about 5-8 minutes.
NOTE: After 2 minutes baking, take a peek. For an even baking, rotate 180°.If the top gets done before the bottom, you will need to move the stone or jelly pane to a lower shelf before the next round. On the contrary, if the bottom crisps before the cheese caramelizes, then you will need to raise the stone or jelly.

14. Take the pizza out of the oven and transfer it to a cutting board or your plate. In order to allow the cheese to set a little, wait 3-5 minutes before slicing or serving.

REMARKS

Here are the recipes I used to make my Pizza Napoletana and Parlor Style Pepperoni Pie.

Classic Red Pizza Sauce

- recipe from The Kitchn -

makes about 5 cups

• 10 cloves fresh garlic, minced
• 2 tablespoons tomato paste
• 1 28 ounce can tomato puree
• 1/2 cup red wine
• 1 cup water
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 1 tablespoon fresh parsley, minced
• 3 tablespoons fresh basil, minced
• 1 teaspoon dried thyme
• 1/2 teaspoon dried marjoram
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 1/2 teaspoons salt, or to taste

Lightly saute the minced garlic in olive oil over medium heat until golden. Add the tomato paste and fry with the garlic. Add to the rest of the ingredients and blend in a blender or food processor.

This keeps up to a week in the fridge and much longer frozen. Freeze in individual bags, then defrost overnight, snip off a corner and squeeze out the sauce.

Pizza Napoletana

• 3/4 cup Classic Red Pizza Sauce (recipe above)
• 1/4 lb. fresh mozzarella, sliced 1/4 inch thick
• handful fresh basil, slivered

Spread sauce over stretched dough in a thin, even layer. You should be able to see through the sauce to the dough in some places. Evenly arrange mozzarella slices and sprinkle with basil. Bake as recommended above.

Parlor Style Pepperoni Pie

• 3/4 cup Classic Red Pizza Sauce (recipe above)
• 1 cup mozzarella, shredded
• 2 oz. sliced pepperoni
• 1/3 cup sharp cheddar, shredded
• 2 fat cloves garlic, sliced

Spread sauce over the dough in a thin, even layer. You should be able to see through the sauce to the dough in some places. Top with a layer of mozzarella, then pepperoni, then a light sprinkling of cheddar and garlic slices. Bake as recommended above.

Do I Need This?

Per Alton Brown's advice, I try to avoid bringing unitaskers into my kitchen, but I don't know, this bread warmer seems worthy of an exception. What's more seductive than a warm bun?

Bacon and Baking: Discuss

DAY 299: chocolate bacon, originally uploaded by R.A.M.O.N.E..

Bacon seems to be the hot new ingredient in desserts (see here, here, and here. Also here [NSFW]). What do you think? Are you thrilled by the marriage of sweets and cured meats? Nauseated? Just totally over it?

EVO and Yogurt Cake

When I posted this photo on Flickr with the title "Lemony EVO Cake", my friend Sarah asked me if EVO is different from EVOO, or "Evoo", so popularized by Rachael Ray. The answer is no, EVO also refers to extra virgin olive oil, yes I am aware that it makes less sense to call it EVO than EVOO if you look at the letters, and no, I'm not going to cave and call it Evoo. I'm just not. As Amy Poehler would say, deal with it. Also? I actually used limes, not lemons. That part is my bad.

I decided to try this cake because I've heard nothing but great things about it, and because it's incredibly quick and easy. It satisfied my after-dinner sweet tooth without being overkill, and I'm sure it would be awesome for breakfast as well.

On the day of baking I didn't have full-fat yogurt and there was only one egg in the fridge, so I had to swap in lowfat yogurt and Egg Beaters. The cake suffered no major ill effects, but I think the full-fat dairy might've dialed back the olive oil flavor a bit. I strongly recommend using Dorie's recipe as it stands.

EVO and Yogurt Cake

- makes 1 loaf or approx. 8 servings -

• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• Pinch of salt
• 1 cup sugar
• Finely grated zest of 1 lime
• 1/2 cup plain whole milk yogurt
• 3 large eggs
• 1/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup EVO (extra-virgin olive oil)

One 8 1/2-x-4 1/2-inch loaf pan, generously buttered.

1. Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 350°F. Whisk together the flour, baking powder and salt.

2. Put the sugar and zest in a medium bowl and rub the ingredients together until the sugar is fragrant. Whisk in the yogurt, eggs and vanilla. When the mixture is well blended, gently whisk in the dry ingredients. Switch to a spatula and fold in the oil. The batter will be thick and shiny. Scrape it into the pan and smooth the top.

3. Bake the cake for 50 to 55 minutes, or until it is golden and starts to come away from the sides of the pan; a knife inserted into the center of the cake will come out clean. Cool on a rack for 5 minutes, then run a knife between the cake and the sides of the pan. Unmold and cool to room temperature right-side up.

Madge + Kat = Not Friends

According to her future ex-hubby Guy Ritchie (via London's Daily Mail), Madonna had this thing about baked goods. She did not approve of them:

[S]he banned sugar entirely, which made biscuits, ice creams and cakes
objects of almost otherworldly fascination for her daughter Lourdes and their
son Rocco.

Well, duh. I find cookies utterly fascinating too, and I eat them like, every day. And to add insult to already serious injury...

She also banned cheese, cream, salt and preservatives.

What. The. Eff. If I were Guy Ritchie, I would immediately start work on my tell-all, Not Without My Cheese Plate.

Señor Doughnut Shreds, Eats It

Up until today I've been curious to see the movie Sex Drive mostly because it co-stars Clark Duke of Clark and Michael fame, but the versatile Señor Doughnut pretty much seals it:



Nope, no languishing in the Netflix queue for this chico.

Why Won't it Get Cold Already?

We've had a steady string of cloudy, 70-degree days here in New York, and I for one am totally over it. All I want to do is sit on the couch wrapped in a quilt and watch The Wire while intermittently stuffing my face into a cheesy baked pumpkin. *SIGH*.

In the Meantime, Please Enjoy This Wreck!

[Image via Cake Wrecks]

It just kills me. Every. Time.

Happy Birthday, Duncan! You Too, Kat

Sadly, I didn't get a talking cake for my birthday [*SIGH*], but this red velvet one Adam and Marie brought from Brown Betty in Philadelphia was okay. I GUESS.

And by "okay" I mean delicious. And by "I GUESS" I mean I DIED from the deliciousness.

Obscenely Easy White Pizza

I know you’re probably sick of my pizza recipes. I know. But what can I say? The Easy Whole Wheat Pizza Dough, she just keeps on giving! This particular cheese/bread combo has been a Sunday night go-to for several weeks now, and it seems to go equally well with pinot noir, pinot gris, and Tecate. It’s also super easy, and all of the ingredients can be purchased at even our crapshoot of a local grocery store (It’s called Bravo, but one day I’m going to start calling it “Booooo!”).

The first time I made this, I topped it with slivered basil BEFORE putting it in the oven. Bad idea. As you can see from the photo, it shriveled up to almost nothing, which I probably could’ve predicted if I wasn’t dying of hunger at the time. Anyway, last night we sprinkled the basil on just after the pizza came out of the oven, and it was perfection.

Now go on then, pick or whip yourself up a pizza crust, get your mozzarella shred on.

Obscenely Easy White Pizza

Makes two 12-inch pizzas or one 13- x 16-inch pizza.

1 recipe Easy Whole Wheat Pizza Dough
4 cloves garlic, sliced thin
8 oz. mozzarella, shredded
2 oz. goat cheese
2 roma tomatoes, thinly sliced
1 handful fresh basil, slivered

The prep on this is seriously so easy that I almost feel like a tool even typing it out. But anyway. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees.

When the crust is risen and ready, sprinkle the shredded mozzarella all over in an even layer. Follow with nickel-sized glops of goat cheese, then the sliced garlic, and finally, the tomato slices.

Place the pizza in the center of the oven and bake for 10 minutes. Once the crust is brown and lovely and the cheeses are melted, remove from oven and top with the slivered basil. I also find that this pizza benefits from some fresh black pepper and a drizzling of olive oil.

Basic Brioche

Marie Antoinette, likely brioche enthusiast

Making these brioche for the first time sparked a fun little history lesson at our house. While comparing recipes, I read a couple articles that suggested Marie Antoinette's famous "let them eat cake" quote was more likely "let them eat brioche."

I was relating this to My Dude when he stopped me. "Actually, it was probably Marie Antoinette's mother who said that. She was Austrian. So was Marie Antoinette. And so is the brioche."

A little further internet research (i.e., Wikipedia and The Straight Dope) reveals that no one really knows who said the line in question, what kind of pastry they were referring to, or whether or not they meant it in a bitchy way or whatever. What we do know is this:

• Jacques Pepin totally owns everyone when it comes to French pastry
• I totally own everyone when it comes to slavishly following a recipe
• After much consideration, I used Msr. Pepin's recipe

Ergo, my brioche was bangin'.

To wit:

It got even better when I looked inside:

So airy and buttery! We ate them with my future bro-in-law's homemade jam, but next time I think I'll make them a bit bigger so we can use them as burger buns. I think Marie (and her mom) would approve.