It's Our Reunion

My ten-year high school reunion is in a couple weeks, and though I have no plans to attend, I have thoroughly enjoyed the emails that I have been receiving through the ELHS Class of ’97 listserv (there’s also a website, featuring arcade games and a CNN news crawl(?)). The reunion was organized by our senior class president, a young man who went on to earn his bachelor’s degree in just nine years. Predictably, the whole thing is a clusterfuck. Here’s a sample email:

I have already purchased my flight to EL for this occasion. I am sure many others of you have as well. I am concerned because I have NO information on times/dates/venues, etc...

Um, yes. I booked a non-refundable, cross-country airline ticket based on one email from a dude who barked like a dog in my 8th grade French class. You’re seriously surprised that the plans are half-baked? Unlike our class prez, who was always fully baked. Zing!

Initially, the reason for my not going had more to do with the cost of air travel than a fear of reconnecting with the past. When the reunion website went up, I checked every day to see who posted new photos, eager to see who had been smacked around by the hands of time. Only it wasn’t all that satisfying, because it turns out that I had completely forgotten that half of my class ever existed. I recognized maybe 12 people. The same 12 people I was focused on impressing in high school.

I considered posting a photo of myself, but I don’t think I can take the rejection.