Note to Self:

If one day you wake up to find that you have become a 29-year-old man with nerdy taste in clothes who wishes to get dates with nubile college girls, never, ever, allow yourself to be seen printing out profiles from Nerve.com at NYU's computer lab.

PS to self: Definitely DO NOT make notes on said printed-out proviles and file them away in a special folder. College girls can see you doing that, too.