Who's That Girl?

I know I’m a little late to the party on this one, but I just got around to looking at Hot Chicks with Douchebags, and oh holy Jesus is it scary. Funny, but still scary. True enough, these dudes are total douchenozzles*. The Ab Lobster, the Joey Porsche Experience, Rooster Wank – all world-class, grade-A chodewheels*. But the only thing that keeps me from giving this site “Daily Reads” status is the women. They make me so, so sad, and also kind of angry, for all of womenkind. These are the kind of ladies who think that flashing your boobs gives you power on par with say, owning your own business or holding a congressional seat. I also imagine that in their bedrooms they have A LOT of photos of themselves and their friends holding drinks with the sides of their faces pressed together. What is that? I have friends who were in sororities in college and apparently they teach you that at pledge week.

So what is the correct pejorative to describe this girl, the girl who yammers on her cell phone while on the elliptical at the gym about what she ate for breakfast that day? The girl who starts raging passive-aggressive bitchfights with other girls with the statement: I love you, but… As in: “I love you, but...you’re an evil horse-face”? I mean, I want to support all women in this world, because god knows it’s hard enough without stabbing each other in the back, but won’t someone let her know that she’s ruining it for the rest of us? At the very least, can I just watch "Rock of Love" on the treadmill in peace?


*Credit: Annie A.
*Credit : Jessie S.