I [Maple Leaf] Canada

I grew up a little under two hours away from Canada, and lived about a half-hour away during college. I've been to Ontario many times on school trips, and always found it to be a very clean, and above all friendly place. And when a native Midwesterner thinks, "Wow, folks sure are nice here!" you can damn well bet that you're dealing with some exceptionally friendly people.

And why shouldn't they be? They have universal healthcare, they can legally drink at age 19, and with the exception of Jim Carey, they gave rise to some of the finest comedians of the 20th Century. The only faults I can find with Canada are their accents, the comic strip "For Better or for Worse," and the fact that their quarters don't fit in our parking meters. I was going to add Celine Dion to that list, but you know what? After reading this article about Canada providing sactuary for Iraq war resisters, I'm not even going to mention her. You're welcome, Canada.

Self-Pity in Verse

Green shoots break through the soil and
the smell of the moist earth fills my nose

He says he'll go for a bike ride today
down to the harbor where across the water
you can almost see the skyscrapers
swaying

And I
And I
And I
Hate his guts

The library can bite me.

What I Imagine It's Like Working at Star Magazine

Is it just me, or does Ashley Alexadra Dupre, a.k.a. "Kristen" look an awful lot like Sarah from Top Model Cycle 5? Check It:

"Kristen"





Sarah

Same nose, right? Star Magazine: call me! If this isn't worthy of a sidebar, I don't know what is.

Best of the Day

Spitzer? But I Don't Even Know 'Er!

That's pretty much all I have to say about that.

Super Tuesday Part Two: Electoral Boogaloo

Is the title too much? I think it might be too much. Eh, whatevs. It's a blog.

So! Theoretically, today could be the day that decides the Democratic party nomination, and I'm afraid I have to admit that I'm just as ambivalent as ever. Issues of identity politics aside, both Clinton and Obama are such a far cry from my one true love, Dennis Kucinich. You can call me crazy, but it's you who's crazy! Crazy with guilt for abandoning every idealistic wish you ever uttered in your dorm's study lounge!

By the time my primary rolled around, my beloved little elf had danced into the mist, so it was down to Hills and Barry, just as today. Up until now I've managed to avoid telling people who I voted for by telling them I voted for McCain, and watching hilarity ensue. Oh, New York City residents! So delightfully predictable! No one even attempts to mask their horror. And that's exactly why I moved here -- for stability.

Liveblogging My Thesis

2:14: Six hundred words in two hours. I rule.
2:15: I need a Diet Dr. Pepper.
2:19: Those gnocchi I made last night were amazing. I should’ve taken a picture.
3:03: Dammit! Why are all of my sources in French? And why can't I understand any of them? I took French for seven years.
3:05: I can finally admit that I deserved that B-minus in French 231.
3:17: Apparently it's snowing. And I'm in a library basement.
3:39: Pretzels?
3:41: Pretzels.
4:23: Christian was totally robbed in the denim challenge. Just sayin's all.